Weekend review. Celtic rip Hearts apart and, Boydie goes crazy and it’s raining coins in Paisley.

A belated review of Celtic’s weekend performances against Hearts due to circumstances and by circumstances I mean a Saturday night Halloween party and being away from the house for a few days.

Celtic had their third meeting with league leaders Hearts on Saturday at Celtic Park, coming a mere six days after seeing off the same opposition at Murrayfield in the League Cup semi-final.

It was really as you were as Hearts tried to sit in and defend and just ended up getting ripped apart as a ravenous Celtic team tore into them from the first whistle and ended the half 3-0 up after Odsonne Edouard cracked in a beauty off the underside of the bar from the edge of the box followed by Filipe Benkovic rising high to power in a header from a corner – yes you heard that right Celtic scored a goal from a corner kick – and French Eddy added his second as he directed a Tierney cross home after the latest fumble from Hearts calamity prone keeper ZdenÄ›k Zlámal who for some reason is now just referred to as ‘Bobby’.

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Benkovic rises high to head home imperiously. 

It should have been much more with other chances going a begging including Ryan Christie clipping one just past the post from close range in the opening minutes and then hitting the post as he tried to slide one home soon after the second.

Callum McGregor nearly scored one of the goals of the season in the second 45mins as he ran from his own half into the Hearts goal and rounded a couple of defenders before striking it just past the far post.

James Forrest did make it four after some nice intricate play on the edge of the box from that man Edouard again resulted in the winger turning and burying it past ‘Bobby’ with aplomb.

Forrest then was taken down in the box by Hearts striker Craig Wighton as Celtic terrorised the Edinburgh clubs goal once again and Ryan Christie stepped up to make amends for his earlier misses and stroked home the fifth and final goal sending the keeper the wrong way in the process.

All in all a resounding victory which takes us within a point of Hearts with a game in hand.

Craig Levein later admitted he’d played it safe and it had backfired though I think even if they had been more adventurous things might actually have been worse as his side went back to the capital with their tails firmly between their legs. Even Steven MacLean kept his hands to himself after the scandal of the recent ‘bawsgate’.

So now Celtic go into this Thursday evenings match with Red Bull Leipzig in pretty incredible domestic form though I’ll reserve any talk of that for another article.

Elsewhere Rangers ended their three-match winless run and once again underlined the managerial genius of Steven Gerrard as they scored twice late to rescue three points against a struggling St.Mirren at New St.Mirren Park in Paisley.

Loveable rogue Alfredo Morelos was lucky to survive a 50 pence piece being directed at his genitalia  that he didn’t seem to notice and after the game St.Mirren keeper Craig Samson had collected enough coins in his goal to afford a Big Mac meal en route home as Scottish football fans continue to show amazing financial frivolity in the face of the oncoming Brexit.

Kris Boyd also got a rare runout at home for his beloved Kilmarnock against Aberdeen and scored a penalty midway through the first half which led to him losing his mind and going crazy in front of the Aberdeen support as he goaded them with reference to his weight before an off the cuff dance resulted in a five pound note being hurled at him. He later used this to purchase a lasagna and two bags of monster munch at a local Tesco express.

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Boyd goes bananas. 

Clearly, motivated by Boyd’s banal celebration Aberdeen went onto win the game 2-1 with Barry Ferguson’s nephew Lewis curling in a late free kick in front of the travelling faithful who celebrated wildly though Boydie had long since departed to purchase his aforementioned post-match meal by that point.

Just another weekend in the mad, mad world that is Scottish football. Just remember no matter how all of the results turn out every club brings it upon themselves.

 

Post-match analysis: Dundee 0 – 5 Celtic. A massacre at Dens while it kicks off big time elsewhere.

Well, I think it’s pretty safe to say that we’re back to being in fine fettle now.

Domestically at least.

A rampant Celtic tore hapless Dundee apart on Halloween with four goals in the first half all started by a beautiful strike from star man Tom Rogic on the 20 minute mark followed  by a penalty conversion from Scott Sinclair just after the half hour, James Forrest finishing off a sublime passing move with a neat finish on 38mins and then Odsonne Edouard tapping in the fourth just before the half-time whistle blew after some fine wing play and a cut back from Forrest.

The second half saw Celtic predictably drop down a few gears whilst Dundee put on their best guiser masks and started hammer throwing as they committed to keeping the score down.

That didn’t stop Ryan Christie bursting through on goal to finish expertly on 48 mins and Kieran Tierney should have made it six when he placed it past the post when it seemed easier to score after a fine low cross to the back post by substitute Daniel Arzani.

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Arzani wishes the Celtic support a hello and a goodbye. 

Incidentally, we finally got a glimpse of the highly touted Man City loanee Arzani who looked a little off the pace but still pretty tasty all before he went down in a heap on 78 mins before being taken off on a stretcher. Sadly early reports indicate ligament damage and that he’ll be out for nine months so safe to say we won’t be seeing him again. Thanks for the memories, Daniel. We’ll always have Dens.

The performance was a continuation from what we’ve been seeing from the Hoops since the mauling of St.Johnstone at McDiarmid Park nearly four weeks ago and saw us rack up our 18th goal in four domestic games.

Yes, Dundee are pretty much on their arse at the moment with their shellshocked new manager Jim McIntyre probably wondering what the hell he’s has got himself into and gave nothing going forward all night incredibly registering no shots on goal. But Celtic still put them to the sword in impressive fashion none the less.

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Who’d be Jim?

Let’s hope we can continue this on to our top of the table clash with Hearts on Saturday with victory seeing us close the gap to 1 point with a game in hand over the jam tarts.

Over at Tynecastle last night they played out an eventful 0-0 draw with city rivals Hibs that saw their keeper smacked in the chops from a Hibs fan – no way it was a punch but still was uncalled for – and Neil Lennon got coined by one of Hearts more impassioned supporters who our ex-manager would now like to meet for a friendly one to one over a cup of tea or words to that effect.

Elsewhere crisis continued to envelop Rangers as they dropped points to Kilmarnock – who in fairness are no mugs these days as we found out to our own detriment earlier in the season – just as their financial figures were released revealing trading losses of over ÂŁ14 million to the year ending June 30th.  Interesting that they decided to release the figures just before a home game kicked off. It’s almost as if they are trying to divert attention. Still, Dave King is very confident things are moving in the right direction and he looks pretty trustworthy.

I’m told that Europea League qualification will sort all things financial out. Strange how it’s been painted as financial salvation over in Govan yet our elimination from the Champions League and subsequent qualification for the very same Europa League has been painted as a near financial disaster. Funny that.

Anyway, it’s all going well on the good ship Celtic for the moment and there can be no doubt that the team has their swagger back.

Let’s hope the re-established domestic dominance can be translated into a positive European result in one weeks times as we desperately need to beat Red Bull Leipzig at Celtic Park next Thursday.

Anything but victory effectively eliminates us and defeat combined with Salzburg winning in Norway would confirm it.

I was disappointed we prioritised the weekend’s cup semi-final against Hearts over last Thursday nights away game against the Germans.

Europe for me is always where good Celtic teams and managers really prove their worth and by and large in the past three seasons we’ve been found wanting.

I guess I can delve a bit deeper into that quandary next week so for now, let’s just enjoy our continued return to form whilst all of our rivals faltered on Halloween night.