Weekend review. Celtic rip Hearts apart and, Boydie goes crazy and it’s raining coins in Paisley.

A belated review of Celtic’s weekend performances against Hearts due to circumstances and by circumstances I mean a Saturday night Halloween party and being away from the house for a few days.

Celtic had their third meeting with league leaders Hearts on Saturday at Celtic Park, coming a mere six days after seeing off the same opposition at Murrayfield in the League Cup semi-final.

It was really as you were as Hearts tried to sit in and defend and just ended up getting ripped apart as a ravenous Celtic team tore into them from the first whistle and ended the half 3-0 up after Odsonne Edouard cracked in a beauty off the underside of the bar from the edge of the box followed by Filipe Benkovic rising high to power in a header from a corner – yes you heard that right Celtic scored a goal from a corner kick – and French Eddy added his second as he directed a Tierney cross home after the latest fumble from Hearts calamity prone keeper ZdenÄ›k Zlámal who for some reason is now just referred to as ‘Bobby’.

Image result for celtic 5-0 hearts
Benkovic rises high to head home imperiously. 

It should have been much more with other chances going a begging including Ryan Christie clipping one just past the post from close range in the opening minutes and then hitting the post as he tried to slide one home soon after the second.

Callum McGregor nearly scored one of the goals of the season in the second 45mins as he ran from his own half into the Hearts goal and rounded a couple of defenders before striking it just past the far post.

James Forrest did make it four after some nice intricate play on the edge of the box from that man Edouard again resulted in the winger turning and burying it past ‘Bobby’ with aplomb.

Forrest then was taken down in the box by Hearts striker Craig Wighton as Celtic terrorised the Edinburgh clubs goal once again and Ryan Christie stepped up to make amends for his earlier misses and stroked home the fifth and final goal sending the keeper the wrong way in the process.

All in all a resounding victory which takes us within a point of Hearts with a game in hand.

Craig Levein later admitted he’d played it safe and it had backfired though I think even if they had been more adventurous things might actually have been worse as his side went back to the capital with their tails firmly between their legs. Even Steven MacLean kept his hands to himself after the scandal of the recent ‘bawsgate’.

So now Celtic go into this Thursday evenings match with Red Bull Leipzig in pretty incredible domestic form though I’ll reserve any talk of that for another article.

Elsewhere Rangers ended their three-match winless run and once again underlined the managerial genius of Steven Gerrard as they scored twice late to rescue three points against a struggling St.Mirren at New St.Mirren Park in Paisley.

Loveable rogue Alfredo Morelos was lucky to survive a 50 pence piece being directed at his genitalia  that he didn’t seem to notice and after the game St.Mirren keeper Craig Samson had collected enough coins in his goal to afford a Big Mac meal en route home as Scottish football fans continue to show amazing financial frivolity in the face of the oncoming Brexit.

Kris Boyd also got a rare runout at home for his beloved Kilmarnock against Aberdeen and scored a penalty midway through the first half which led to him losing his mind and going crazy in front of the Aberdeen support as he goaded them with reference to his weight before an off the cuff dance resulted in a five pound note being hurled at him. He later used this to purchase a lasagna and two bags of monster munch at a local Tesco express.

Image result for kris boyd celebration
Boyd goes bananas. 

Clearly, motivated by Boyd’s banal celebration Aberdeen went onto win the game 2-1 with Barry Ferguson’s nephew Lewis curling in a late free kick in front of the travelling faithful who celebrated wildly though Boydie had long since departed to purchase his aforementioned post-match meal by that point.

Just another weekend in the mad, mad world that is Scottish football. Just remember no matter how all of the results turn out every club brings it upon themselves.

 

A review of Super Sunday: Celtic break Hearts and the Dons mug Gerrard.

I took in our game on Sunday from the Dolphin pub in Partick, a good Celtic boozer if you have never been. The green and white sign with the ‘EST1888’ above the door should be a giveaway.

Anyway there with a few friends, I witnessed our match with league leaders Hearts at Murrayfield in front of a crowd of over 60,000.

Due to Hearts pretty incredible results since the start of the season – which has seen them win 13 from 16 matches with two draws and only one defeat – combined with our own patchy form since the start of the term this had been built up as a near 50/50 encounter with many favouring the Jam Tarts.

Indeed they had already defeated us 1-0 earlier in the season at Tynecastle and bounced back from their only defeat of the season so far against Rangers at Ibrox three weeks ago with wins at home versus Aberdeen and away to Dundee to maintain their spot at the top of the Premiership.

But the Celtic side that lost to Hearts back in early August has fairly ramped up the performances levels since then, especially in the past month, and with the capital side also without long-term injury absentees Christophe Berra, John Souttar and Uche Ikpeazu I was personally quite surprised at how close so many thought it was going to be.

Still, that meant that interest had peaked for it and led to not only a magnificent attendance at Murrayfield but also a large crowd in the pub which would be otherwise unusual for any normal national cup semi-final involving us and anybody but Rangers.

Image result for celtic hearts murrayfield
A packed our Murrayfield sees green smoke.

The first half was pretty scrappy stuff with Hearts veteran striker Steven MacLean grabbing all the headlines via standing a mile offside as he placed the ball into the Celtic net only for it to be flagged and also grabbing a handful of Eboue Kouassi’s testicles into the bargain. He’s since been cited for it and according to his ex-St. Johnstone teammate James McFadden on last nights Sportsound he’s known for it so I’d imagine he’s facing a ban. Then again Morelos got his red card rescinded for trying to volley Scott McKenna off the ball at Pittodrie earlier in the season so who knows.

Hearts talisman Steven Naismith also walked off early doors with a knee injury and you sort of suspected any chance they had of beating us walked with him.

That aside Scott Sinclair had an excellent effort saved by the Hearts keeper but by in large it was competitive but uninspiring stuff to such an extent the guy sitting beside me announced he’d had enough and staggered out leaving a full bottle of Peroni and an untouched whiskey chaser behind him. Outrageous.

In the second half, we got a spot-kick after Ryan Christie went down under a Ben Garrucio challenge – hardly a stonewaller but the type of incident which is given all the time these days – and Sinclair stepped up to smash it home. Then the Herts keeper Zdenek Zlamal tried to gather a speculative Rogic drive which escaped his grasp and trundled over the line before he clawed it clear. James Forrest was on hand though to bury it and put to bed any necessity for the linesman to make a call. And just in case there was any lingering doubt Ryan Christie capped off a fine few days in a Celtic jersey following on from strong display away in Leipzig on Thursday night as he buried a 25-yard piledriver past the despairing Zlamal on 72 mins.

Thereafter it was a bit of a turkey shoot as Celtic rained down wave after wave of attack on the Jambos goal but a combination of Zlamal atoning for his earlier error plus some last-ditch defending kept the score respectful. Though one of my mates was gutted as he had us to win either 4-0 or 3-1 with the bookies. A sore one indeed.

All in all, it was a professional performance and Celtic have now won 21 consecutive cup ties and have booked their place in their fifth consecutive cup final in doing so. The ‘Treble-Treble’ now really is on plus we also got to shut-up serial moaner Craig Levein who despite his pre-match defiance saw his side ultimately check out with a whimper.

Of course, this was all pretty much night and day compared to Thursday night’s display away in Germany where a toothless Celtic side limped to a 2-0 defeat to Red Bull Leipzig.

Having the suspended James Forrest back was undoubtedly a factor – as was the inferior opposition of course – but also returning was the imperious Tom Rogic and central defender Filipe Benkovic both of whom hadn’t made it for Thursday nights game. No one is really talking about it but personally, I’m a bit disappointed that Sunday was clearly given precedence over an away tie in Europe and one which I honestly think would have been very winnable against Leipzig’s second string if Rogic and Benkovic had been involved. The notion that they suddenly returned to full match fitness in the space of 64 hours is, of course, total bollocks.

Europe now does seem to now be firmly regarded as a pipe dream with domestic success being given the superior status based on decisions like that.

Anway we’re in another cup final on December 2nd so the question is who would we be playing?

That game, of course, took place later on that evening at Hampden Park where Steven Gerrard’s apparently rejuvenated Rangers would battle it out against Derek McInnes’s toiling Aberdeen.

Even with their only real striking options out for this one just about everyone I knew made the Govan side the clear favourites with most regarding it a mere formality.

It proved to be anything but as the Dons produced a classic smash and grab performance that ex-Rangers manager Walter Smith himself would have been proud of as the nephew of Barry Ferguson headed home the winner on 79 mins. He’s called Lewis Ferguson by the way and he won me a not unsubstantial amount of money as I found the long odds on the reds to be too tempting not to indulge.

Even with over 10 mins plus injury time remaining my money looked safe as the toothless light blues failed to breach a pretty rock solid Aberdeen defence and 1-0 is how it finished.

Image result for aberdeen rangers
Stevie G congratulates Goldson on their loss.

So it’s Aberdeen in the final in five weeks. I must admit to being a tad disappointed as an Old Firm final would have been far more appetizing and despite undoubtedly impressive results at home and in Europe, the Stevie G project looks decidedly shaky anytime it’s taken out on the road with Sunday being a perfect example of that.

What with them out of the first domestic competition of the season combined with sitting only joint fifth in the league I wonder if rumours will now abound of an unsettled dressing room, player fallouts and acrimonious relationships between the manager and the board? Or is that only reserved for our manager? I think we all know the answer.

Oh, and what happened to that Richard Wilson’s tweet from Thursday evening which claimed that after Sunday was out the way there would be ramifications due to the performance and result on Thursday night? It’s Tuesday and still nothing. Maybe it will all kick off tomorrow. Or maybe it was all bullshit to start with.